My friend Linnea wrote about the things she likes and doesn’t like on her blog, Bean on Parade. It made me realize that I have no idea what to say if someone asks me about what I like and don’t like. Since she’s sneaky and liable to ask me about this at the most embarrassing moment possible, I’m doing the like/don’t like thing here for prophylactic reasons.
Likes: Godzilla; sitting in appalling sloth with a cat on my belly; fresh spinach; anything to do with moose; dumb songs I make up; combing my wife’s hair; great dialogue; improvisational acting; Have Gun Will Travel; the smell of the air when it’s about to snow but isn’t snowing yet; ice cream sandwiches; writing when I don’t suck; spreadsheets; Netflix; old songs like Stardust and Funny Valentine; people who dance better than me (which is a lot of people); lithium; humorous books; money; apple pie; making people laugh; confidence; stories about baby ducks; teaching; cats + a laser pointer; that chick on the Progressive Insurance commercials; holding a grudge; pictures of my friends; computers; funny hats; my breathtaking collection of DVDs; Lonesome Dove; great stunts; Diet Coke; TV shows that are about the characters and not about where the green carpet fiber came from; Allison Janney; having an adequate number of litter boxes; t-shirts; insults; hot showers; vacations in Scotland; breaking dumb rules.
Dislikes: flights that depart at 6 a.m.; insurance premiums; cooked spinach; pictures of me; drawing a blank while onstage; singing songs that are too high for me; condiments; reality TV (except for that dancing one); Renaissance music; putting on a roof in the summer; Dr. Pepper; gnarled, fatty sausages; willful incompetence; tequila; broken bones; craft fairs; black olives on pizza; annoying people I can’t ignore; organized religion; food with tiny seeds that get caught in my teeth; airport security; crappy dialogue and predictable plots; firing people; shopping for gifts on a budget; Congress; neurological diseases; actors who think people give a shit about their political views; bacon; the idea that smart people are better than other people; the Conan O’Brien Show; when my knees sweat; hay fever; children that act like shrieking baboons; the deification of Michael Jackson after everybody hated him so much when they thought he was a child molester; pickles.
On the Fence: pork chops; iPhone; online chat for customer service; small dogs; vacations at the beach; high fiber cereal; comic books; green beans; magicians; Wii; my birthday; Pluto being downgraded to an asteroid; soup.